I Won't Cry
by DarkFallenAngel123
Summary: Just a tiny little oneshot. Near has just found out Kira but feels nothing so he goes to speak to an old friend.


I Won't Cry

**((I've been listening 'Big Girls Don't Cry' a lot recently and I just came up with this idea. This has **_**no**_** plan so it may be a bit sketchy. Yesterday I wrote a oneshot about my Death Note OC, if you like this, please tell me whether to upload it or not!))**

The case is solved and everything will go back to normal. So why aren't I happy? The others are overjoyed that Kira has finally been brought to justice, however, I feel _nothing. _I'm intelligent, so why can't I think of an explanation. I look down at my puppets and flinch. Mello and L's puppets glare up at me. That may be the reason.

My success comes with a dire price, everyone I really cared about is dead. L, Mello, Matt…Hell, I don't even have Watari anymore. I grab a lock of my thick white hair and begin to twirl, hopefully the other SPK members will take it as normal behaviour. I look down at the puppets again and then rise up. I look through my fringe at the others,

"I need to go visit someone. You're all free to do as you please seeing as Kira is now probably dead," I go to exit but Linder stops me and produces a pair of sandals out of her bag, I faintly smile at her to feign gratitude and slip my feet into them. I nod at the others and pad out, walking up a road I had only visited once but felt like I knew it all too well. I sneak a glance at myself in a car window and notice that my determination looks like madness on the outside. I calm down and carry on.

After a while of walking, I find myself at the foot of grand black gates. I walk through the cemetery, although I know there is nothing here that could harm me, it doesn't decrease the scariness of it all. I finally find the tombstone, a simple cross with RIP engraved into it. They obviously didn't put anything else down, everyone was to think that L was alive and still working. Feeling childlike and foolish, I sit next to the cross and start to speak to thin air as if L was sat right next to me.

"The investigation is over. You were right, Light Yagami was Kira, I think he's dead now." I pause and then begin to speak again, "Mello and I finally worked together, like you always wanted. If you're with him, could you tell him that I'm sorry I can't visit his grave as I don't know where it is and that I'm sorry we didn't get along when he was…alive." I begin to fiddle with a lock of my hair again, my uncomfortable feeling easing off. I don't feel crazy now, it's as if I'm really having a conversation with L.

"Also, tell him I'm very sorry about Matt… Although, I suppose they're together now aren't they?" I blink and try to shrug off raw emotion that I feel overcoming. Now it's there, I would be foolish to ignore it. "I know it's not very professional but I need to tell you everything before it drives me crazy." I pause. Petrified. Though, I'm not sure why. I know if L could hear me, he would take it seriously and not mock me, so what is there to be afraid of? Nothing. I inhale deeply and then start to rant, getting everything off my chest.

"I'm alone now. No one is here and I can't celebrate my victory in the defeating of Kira. Without Mello, I will never be able to become your real successor, on my own I'm nothing. I need you _both_ to come back…A-and bring Watari and Matt too! Just…_please?" _The desperation in my voice surprises even me. For the first time since I was taken into Wammy's, I feel vulnerable and alive. It's probably because too much emotion was frowned upon in Wammy's, which was also another possibility Mello always came second.

I feel tears prick my usual dead eyes, the sting as a single teardrop slides down my cheek. I rub it away thoroughly and stand up quickly. I look once more at the cross and feel the tears welling over, "I'll visit soon…" I whisper as I wipe my tears with my sleeve. I look at the ground, ashamed of myself for crying. "And I won't cry anymore."

As I walk out of the gates and head back to the SPK, I mumble, "That's a promise."


End file.
